Monday, September 26, 2011

Letter from Baby !


Hi
Mommy. ...I'm your baby. You don't know me yet, I'm only a few weeks
old. You're going to find out about me soon, though, I promise. Let me
tell you some things about me. My name is John, and I've got beautiful
brown eyes and black hair. Well, I don't have it yet, but I will when
... I'm born. I'm going to be your only child, and you'll call me your one
and only. I'm going to grow up without a daddy mostly, but we have each
other. We'll help each other, and love each other. I want to be a doctor
when I grow up. You found out about me today, Mommy! You were so
excited, you couldn't wait to tell everyone. All you could do all day
was smile, and life was perfect. You have a beautiful smile, Mommy.
It will be the first face I will see in my life, and it will be the best
thing I see in my life. I know it already. ... ... ... ... ... Today was
the day you told Daddy. You were so excited to tell him about me! ...He
wasn't happy, Mommy. He kind of got angry. I don't think that you
noticed, but he did. He started to talk about something called wedlock,
and money, and bills, and stuff I don't think I understand yet. You were
still happy, though, so it was okay. Then he did something scary,
Mommy. He hit you. I could feel you fall backward, and your hands flying
up to protect me. I was okay... but I was very sad for you. You were
crying then, Mommy. That's a sound I don't like. It doesn't make me feel
good. It made me cry, too. He said sorry after, and he hugged you
again. You forgave him, Mommy, but I'm not sure if I do. It wasn't
right. You say he loves you... why would he hurt you? I don't like it,
Mommy. Finally, you can see me! Your stomach is a little bit bigger, and
you're so proud of me! You went out with your mommy to buy new clothes,
and you were so so so happy. You sing to me, too. You have the most
beautiful voice in the whole wide world. When you sing is when I'm
happiest. And you talk to me, and I feel safe. So safe. You just wait
and see, Mommy. When I am born I will be perfect just for you. I will
make you proud, and I will love you with all of my heart. I can move my
hands and feet now, Mommy. I do it because you put your hands on your
belly to feel me, and I giggle. You giggle, too. I love you, Mommy.
Daddy came to see you today, Mommy. I got really scared. He was acting
funny and he wasn't talking right. He said he didn't want you. I don't
know why, but that's what he said. And he hit you again. I got angry,
Mommy. When I grow up I promise I won't let you get hurt! I promise to
protect you. Daddy is bad. I don't care if you think that he is a good
person, I think he's bad. But he hit you, and he said he didn't want us.
He doesn't like me. Why doesn't he like me, Mommy? You didn't talk to
me tonight, Mommy. Is everything okay? It's been three days since you
saw Daddy. You haven't talked to me or touched me or anything since
that. Don't you still love me, Mommy? I still love you. I think you feel
sad. The only time I feel you is when you sleep. You sleep funny, kind
of curled up on your side. And you hug me with your arms, and I feel
safe and warm again. Why don't you do that when you're awake, any more?
I'm 21 weeks old today, Mommy. Aren't you proud of me? We're going
somewhere today, and it's somewhere new. I'm excited. It looks like a
hospital, too. I want to be a doctor when I grow up, Mommy. Did I tell
you that? I hope you're as excited as I am. I can't wait. ...Mommy, I'm
getting scared. Your heart is still beating, but I don't know what you
are thinking. The doctor is talking to you. I think something's going to
happen soon. I'm really, really, really scared, Mommy. Please tell me
you love me. Then I will feel safe again. I love you! Mommy, what are
they doing to me!? It hurts! Please make them stop! It feels bad!
Please, Mommy, please please help me! Make them stop! Don't worry Mommy,
I'm safe. I'm in heaven with the angels now. They told me what you did,
and they said it's called an abortion. Why, Mommy? Why did you do it?
Don't you love me any more? Why did you get rid of me? I'm really,
really, really sorry if I did something wrong, Mommy. I love you, Mommy!
I love you with all of my heart. Why don't you love me? What did I do
to deserve what they did to me? I want to live, Mommy! Please! It
really, really hurts to see you not care about me, and not talk to me.
Didn't I love you enough? Please say you'll keep me, Mommy! I want to
live smile and watch the clouds and see your face and grow up and be a
doctor. I don't want to be here, I want you to love me again! I'm really
really really sorry if I did something wrong. I love you! I love you,
Mommy. Every abortion is just… One more heart that was stopped. Two more
eyes that will never see. Two more hands that will never touch. Two
more legs that will never run. One more mouth that will never speak Stop
Abortion Now. :/

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